Talk:Chandelier (song)/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Prism (talk · contribs) 11:10, 17 June 2014 (UTC)

// GA review // by pedro

Prose

Lead

• "Chandelier" is a song by Australian recording artist Sia, taken from her sixth studio album 1000 Forms of Fear (2014)." → "Chandelier" is a song by Australian recording artist Sia, from her sixth studio album 1000 Forms of Fear (2014).
• I know you shouldn't give everything away to the readers on the lead, but can you just develop a little more on its sad theme? Normally, people associate partying with 'happy' feelings and etc. Just a suggestion: sad → melancholic.
• "vocal delivery" (I don't like this choice of words. It's like she went to critics' houses to deliver voices. Maybe delivery could be substituted with performance or "vocal delivery" could just be vocals?
• "and Daniel Askill, and was choreographed by Ryan Heffington." (repetition of "and") → "[...], with choreography helmed/done/etc by Ryan Heffington"

Background

• "under exclusive license" (maybe with distribution by? How it is now... it's a bit weird.)

Composition

• "is described" → "was described"
• "strong vocal delivery" (verging on non-NPOV, you have to state that Pitchfork's reviewer said this) Vocal delivery: please change it
• "At the song" is repeated twice, reword it. 'At' is an incorrect preposition, change to "During"
• What critics compared it to Rihanna's works? By the way... ex: if the name of Pitchfork's reviewer is already mentioned above (as I requested on my comments above) just type his/her surname. Do this for other critics if the same occurs.

Critical reception

• 'Vocal delivery' → 'vocals'/'vocal performance'
• Emily Exton is writing for VH1. You forgot that.
• "the same thought" → "that thought"
• "It peaked at number 37 on the chart. The single became the first single by Sia to appeared on the chart as a lead artist." (connect the two sentences)
• Belgium Flanders → Flanders
• The girl's dance is discussed in all the reviews, and still your argument for using that screenshot is really lacking. I mean, in the file's page. Maybe something like "The image is used to illustrate Ziegler's dance, which received positive commentary from music critics."

• All done, except the final issue. I can't really understand what it aims? Simon (talk) 13:09, 17 June 2014 (UTC)

• Done by me! — prism △ 13:28, 17 June 2014 (UTC)

In general

• Just like when Beyoncé Knowles was used instead of Beyoncé... why isn't Sia (in the infobox and lead) changed to Sia Furler and the later mentions of Sia changed to Furler?

• No, recent Beyonce-related articles only use her first name (because her musical releases use her first name only), so this article is similar to those. Simon (talk) 13:09, 17 June 2014 (UTC)

• But the Beyoncé main article has the name of Beyoncé, not Beyoncé Knowles. You should really do this, however I won't hold this against the GAN. — prism △ 13:28, 17 June 2014 (UTC)

References

• Everything up to code, there's a minor problem with the PDF file but nothing to worry about.

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.