Talk:David O. McKay School of Education

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Going to Edit

I am going to edit and re-write the David O. McKay School of Education page to resolve some writing issues so that it better complies with the Wikipedia guidelines. StephFudge (talk) 20:54, 28 July 2017 (UTC) I am going to add and update inline citations. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Scd123 (talk • contribs) 18:07, 4 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

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Over-promotional and overly detailed

I am concerned at the advertising style of the recent edits made to this article on the David O. McKay School of Education.I recognise one recent editor, Scd123, has declared their WP:PAID involvement, but find the large amount of minor detail to be based predominantly upon primary sources by the University which administers this college. This makes this page more of an over-promotional prospectus for this college, than an encyclopaedia article on a notable institution. (see WP:NOTPROMO). I would like to see more sources independent of the subject to be used, and for links to the multiplicity of departments to have been placed into External Links. From a quick skim through the 22 references, 16 of them are pages created by the managing body. Hardly independent secondary sources.

I recommend that interested (or paid) editors work to trim down this verbose and overly detailed article. I would also expect the first sentence of the lead paragraph to tell readers where in the world this college is located, and not burden them with detail on how many undergraduate degrees and educational degree courses it runs. One has to wade through three sentences of trivial detail before finding such a key fact, or even which University runs it. I hope editors will address these concerns and act on the relevant templates I have now added to this page. Nick Moyes (talk) 23:07, 31 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Nick Moyes, I definitely see your point. I have copied the article into my sandbox and cut down liberally. If you could look it over and give me feedback I would appreciate it. It is totally a rough draft, so some of the references are gone, and I haven't addressed the reference issues you mentioned yet. I will go back and redo the edits more carefully on the real article when I decide what I think should be cut out and what should be left in. Scd123 (talk) 16:07, 1 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Nick Moyes:, I've worked to support the editors in the McKay school to improve the page. Major contributors do have a close connection to the subject, but I believe their contributions are in line with NPOV guidelines. Should the maintenance tag stay? Rachel Helps (BYU) (talk) 20:23, 7 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]