Talk:Food-entrainable oscillator
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Welcome, and some tips
[edit]Hi there @Addiebard and SatvikR78:, and welcome! I normally edit medicine-related articles here, and I noticed this one through the WP:NPP system. I see folks left some maintenance tags for you to consider. I'll expand on that a bit with some suggestions:
- References - are mostly good, but for some reason the "Discovery" section currently has no references. I assume it's from this article?
- Jargon - Remember this is an encyclopedia, not a review article. Not all articles need to be understandable to the lay public, but they should be written for a non-specialist audience. Wikipedia:Make technical articles understandable has a nice suggestion at WP:ONEDOWN that I often like to keep in mind: write the article for an audience that is one level more general than wherever the topic would be introduced. So if FEO would be introduced to senior undergraduates, then write the article so that it could be understandable to freshman biology majors. I'm some years removed from being a freshman biology major, yet I had to Google the page topic and find this commentary piece before I felt I understood what the article was even about. So I'd suggest you take a look through this article keeping in mind that the purpose of the biologist contributing to Wikipedia is to make the information currently in academic articles more digestible to a broader audience.
- Weasel words and puffery - The first rule of engaging and readable English is often to use as few words as will suffice, and no more. Constructs like
Studies have shown that Per1, Per2, and Per3 knockout mice continue to have robust FAA
can be replaced with the more readable "Per1, Per2, and Per3 knockout mice continue to have robust FAA" without losing any meaning. Common "weasel words" in scientific writing are things like "Research has shown...", "Studies indicate...", etc. These should almost always be replaced with either a more specific description, or at least a less wordy one.
Those are my initial thoughts looking through the article. If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to ask me here and I'll do my best to help. For more general questions, you can always ask at WP:TEAHOUSE where you'll probably get a more prompt response. Otherwise, again, welcome to Wikipedia. I hope you both decide to stay. Cheers. Ajpolino (talk) 03:06, 21 April 2021 (UTC) Fixing ping, @Addiebard and SatvikR78:. Typo on my part. Ajpolino (talk) 03:07, 21 April 2021 (UTC)