Talk:Hastings Mill Park

Comments from Karly:

My comments for this draft page are for the page that was edited before 0:8:00 on March 7, as I noticed some improvements occurred after this time. The page seemed to be lacking in citations, though I understand that information may be difficult to obtain on new installations such as this. I would like to see more links to other pages as well, especially if using language centered around the Vancouver area. There were a couple of spelling/grammar errors under the History section. I would change a few small things such as omitting words and apostrophes, as well as wording. For instance I changed it to: "The historic site of Hasting Mills Museum is what draws incredible significance to the park. The Hasting Mills Museum, known to be one of the oldest buildings in Vancouver, was primarily owned by the Provincial government.[2] The site plays a big part in Vancouver’s history and provides more information on the museum itself." Especially the last sentence as it seemed to be worded strangely. I would also include a map if there is one available, since the page is specific to a location. As well, I didn't see any pages linking to your page. Good topic though, and with a little editing it will turn out very nicely. Kzoup (talk) 20:31, 10 March 2017 (UTC)

Note from Rosie: Wikipedia records times in UTC, which is 8 hr ahead of us. So any edits recorded before 8:00 am on March 8 were made before midnight March 7 Vancouver time. Rosieredfield (talk) 21:40, 23 March 2017 (UTC)

Comments by Adelaida

Great page! I think that including some of the following information would benefit it though: a description, or a picture of what the playground looked like before the update, and how it wasn't as appropriate for kids before; the ages of the kids that the playground is now aiming at; the size of the playground; how to get to the playground, parking and transit information; and more information about the Hastings Mill Museum. I didn't quite understand what the historical significance of it was - I think linking to a page about the Museum would help understand more about it's background. Information you could include about it is more detail about what's displayed inside and the date it was built. I also felt like I didn't understand how the materials used in the playground showed the significance of the logging industry. Describing or listing the materials used would be helpful, as well as saying how the logging industry is relevant to this site. Another thing is that I don't think you should have titled your lead as "introduction" - not sure about this though.

Comment by Vivian

Nice page! Good information on the main knowledge about the park. However I feel like there is a little missing about the history of the park like who designed it or constructed, that would be really nice. Also agreeing with Adelaida, a direct link to the museum would be really nice to help us understand a little bit more. In addition a link to the yacht club page would be nice too, so people can see what is like close by, the atmosphere etc. Also another idea to show the atmosphere of the playground it would be nice to add a picture of the yacht club and possibly the beach near by. But overall nice job. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Holland Park - Surrey (talk • contribs) 00:25, 20 March 2017 (UTC)

Comments by Frankie

This Wikipedia article presented the topic ideas in a logical order with appropriate section headings. The author did a great job at being observant and identified the nearby Royal Vancouver Yacht Club, which needs an appropriate link to its existing Wikipedia page. The importance of the Hastings Mill Museum was greatly emphasized throughout the page as one of the integral reasons for the construction of this park. However, the author only provided a brief outline of the Hastings Mill Museum in the History section. Due to the absence of a Hastings Mill Museum page to link this article with, I believe this article can be greatly improved if the author provided additional information about the Hastings Mill Museum (significance of the museum, its history in Vancouver, and a photograph). As stated by Karly, I agree that this page seems to be lacking in citations. Perhaps more relevant information (external links) about the park's history, prior to the recent renovations, can be found and incorporated, as it is one of Vancouver's historic sites. Additionally, as Metro Vancouver has a very efficient and effective public transportation network, I believe the addition of (transit and general) directions to the park would be a great addition to your page. Lastly, the font format of this page seems to be smaller compared to the typical wikipedia pages, this is a trivial suggestion as it can be change easily fixed. Overall, this was a great start to a Wikipedia page! — Preceding unsigned comment added by F.law (talk • contribs) 06:34, 21 March 2017 (UTC)

Comments from Rosie

The peer reviewers suggestions should all be applied. Here are other changes that will greatly improve the page:

• Why do you only discuss the new playground? The park is very big - what else is there?
• A map is definitely needed. Ruth can advise on ways to find one online that you can use.
• Avoid enthusiasm - gushy terms like 'incredibly' don't belong in an encyclopedia.
• I think readers of this page will be less interested in the Yacht Club (not a very welcoming place for small children) and more interested in other nearby parks and attractions (e.g. beaches, bike paths, concession stands, views) and in links to other interesting Vancouver playgrounds they might visit. It's OK to briefly mention the Yacht Club, but only as part of a list of nearby attractions. (The current Yacht Club description reads like advertising copy.)
• The Store/Museum is in the park, not beside it. And if the store is now a museum you need to tell the readers that.
• Link to the City of Vancouver Parkfinder page about this park. This gives some history of the park, which you could include in your article.

Rosieredfield (talk) 18:29, 23 March 2017 (UTC)

Comments from Ruth

• More citations needed such as after the information about Hastings mill and after..

"The Vancouver Park Board conducted surveys to gain the communities perspective on the design of the playground in the summer of 2015 and the new playground was opened in the fall of 2016".

• Your history paragraph is just about Hastings Mill Museum. What does this have to do with the park? What is the history of the park before reconstruction? If the park is brand new that is a thing you need to say in your history section. There seems to be quite a lot of information about things other than the park on your page.
• You should rearrange your sections, with the history section coming after the introduction, followed by construction or perhaps even with construction as a subsection of history. In fact, your construction paragraph is not about construction. It has parts of history, introduction or other yet to be sections. You could have an attractions section, location (if there is enough to make a section)
• Check other parks pages to see what they have done to get ideas such as Athletic_Park_(Vancouver), South_Purdown,_Bristol, Victory_Square,_Vancouver, Vanier_Park, Queen_Elizabeth_Park,_British_Columbia and many more
• You should not have a named introduction section. Your introduction should appear above the contents. See Deer_Lake_(British_Columbia) for an example.
• Some things that you could add if the information is out there:
  • Funding for the regeneration
  • What was there before?
  • Why was it reconstructed?
• I just googled Hastings Mill park and found some more useful references i.e [[1]], [[2]], [[3]]. It even has a facebook page [[4]]

RuthVancouver (talk) 22:46, 24 March 2017 (UTC)

An extra comment- make sure your page as the standard info box that are used for other park pages. See Stanley_Park for an example, and find other examples. RuthVancouver (talk) 19:49, 26 March 2017 (UTC)