Talk:Janine Brookner/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Kavyansh.Singh (talk · contribs) 07:04, 7 January 2022 (UTC)
Nominator: Sammielh (talk · contribs) at 21:46, 6 January 2022 (UTC)

GA criteria

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written. a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): It is factually accurate and verifiable. a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism): It is broad in its coverage. a (major aspects): b (focused): It follows the neutral point of view policy. Fair representation without bias: It is stable. No edit wars, etc.: It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate. a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall: Pass/Fail:
· · ·

Comments

Prose

• she became the first person to sue to agency for sexual discrimination and win — "and win" seems odd. How about "and won"?
  • I have changed it to "she became the first person to successfully sue the agency for sexual discrimination". I have also added this into the body of the article and cited it, as I realised this was missing.
• a job with the Central Intelligence Agency — "a job in the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA)"
  • Done
• she was moved to Thailand — transferred?
  • Done
• She moved back to — at the starting of every paragraph, you'll need to specify 'she' as 'Brookner'
  • Done
• She faced several internal problems — same as above
  • Done
• In May 1992, she was finally — same as above
  • Done
• by Vice President Dan Quayle — pipe 'vice president' out of the link
  • Done
• Ambassador Glen Holden — same as above
  • Done
• Inspector General Frederick Hitz — avoid linking two adjacent words
  • I have reworded this section, please let me know what you think
• on Lime Key — our article calls it Lime Cay
  • The source I used calls it Lime Key but I have changed it to align with the article
• to dispute the charges but when the CIA failed to respond, — comma after 'charges'
  • Done
• Drug Enforcement Administration’s — fix the quote (’ to ')
  • I thought I'd caught these all! Fixed it
• to the United States Attorney General, — I think it should be clear from the context that the nation we are talking about is US. Suggestion to remove 'United States'
  • I included United States to specify that it was federal rather than state, but that might also be obvious from context so I have removed it
• This became her specialty. — is it a better way to phrase it?
  • I have tried to make it flow better with the following sentence, please let me know what you think
• The "Later life" section should be re-titled to "Death"
  • Done
• "and was responsible for recruiting diplomats from the Soviet Union to spy for the United States" —— thats like the most difficult job ever!!

Images

• Any chance we can get Brookner's freely licenced image? This image is published in The New York Times, credited to Benjamin C. Tankersley/for The Washington Post. Would it be worth contacting the photographer, requesting him to release the image under CC-BY-SA-4.0 via Commons:Commons:Volunteer Response Team. Now, I don't think they'll do that, but its worth trying. Anyways, that is not strictly part of the GA criteria.
  • I agree that it's unlikely but I can give it a shot. I considered trying to add an image under fair use because I can't find a publicly available image anywhere but, as a lawyer, it makes me a bit nervous
    • As the subject has recently died, I am also unsure for a non-free image. Better try asking Mr. Tankersley, if you are comfortable doing so, but I won't make this point a big deal for this GAN. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 04:49, 8 January 2022 (UTC)

References

• Inconsistency in including ISSN in The Washington Post citations
• Rest good!
  • I have removed the ISSNs for The Washington Post

That is it, an really interesting article. Putting on hold. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 14:00, 7 January 2022 (UTC)

Thank you so much for reviewing it! Please let me know if there are any other changes you'd like me to make. I also added in an additional source that I'd thought was in there (as it's the article mentioned in the text itself where her name was first published) so you can take a look but I don't think there should be any issues with it. Sammielh (talk) 18:03, 7 January 2022 (UTC)

Everything else is fixed. The point about the image is optional, and if possible, image can be added later. Promoting! – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 06:24, 8 January 2022 (UTC)