Talk:Japanese battleship Kirishima/GA1
GA Review
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Reviewer: Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 18:28, 31 July 2010 (UTC) GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria
- Is it reasonably well written?
- A. Prose quality:
- Propulsion capabilities sounds very odd. Can you rephrase? Highly superior also reads oddly. How about greatly superior? Main-guns is not hyphenated in the armament section, nor is gun-life as they are not compound adjectives. The use of armour-piercing is redundant the second time in the last sentence of the first para of the armament section. Transport vessel is awkward.
- I've fixed all of these. Cam (Chat)(Prof) 16:28, 4 August 2010 (UTC)
- Propulsion capabilities sounds very odd. Can you rephrase? Highly superior also reads oddly. How about greatly superior? Main-guns is not hyphenated in the armament section, nor is gun-life as they are not compound adjectives. The use of armour-piercing is redundant the second time in the last sentence of the first para of the armament section. Transport vessel is awkward.
- B. MoS compliance:
- A. Prose quality:
- Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
- A. References to sources:
- B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
- C. No original research:
- A. References to sources:
- Is it broad in its coverage?
- A. Major aspects:
- Link battlecruiser and capital ship in the lead. Mitsubishi is red-linked in the text, but not in the infobox. Add armour thickness to the infobox. It might be useful to have an infobox with stats as built and another with stats after her last reconstruction. Link to destroyer Fuji. Gun chambers is ambiguous; do you mean inside the breech of the gun or inside the turret, shell room and/or magazine? Link oil tanker and Rear Admiral Abe. Please add details as to weapon changes made when reconstructed.
- One at a time. All the links have been fixed. Armour stats have been added to the infobox. The source doesn't specify what aspect of the gun chamber but until I discover otherwise I'm going to assume the breech, given that that's where flash-tightness tends to be an issue. Linked to Fuji even though it's redlinked. Cam (Chat)(Prof) 16:28, 4 August 2010 (UTC)
- I've deleted the flash-tightness reference to gun chambers as all the British accounts refer to it as an issue in the ammunition chain between the turret and the magazine. So until we get clarification on exactly how they differed it's probably best not to specify. Still need more details of armament changes with the reconstructions. Conways has some good material there.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 19:13, 5 August 2010 (UTC)
- I've added the bits about her armament changes. It was mostly during the second reconstruction, and I've added that stuff to the end. Cam (Chat)(Prof) 16:07, 12 August 2010 (UTC)
- I've deleted the flash-tightness reference to gun chambers as all the British accounts refer to it as an issue in the ammunition chain between the turret and the magazine. So until we get clarification on exactly how they differed it's probably best not to specify. Still need more details of armament changes with the reconstructions. Conways has some good material there.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 19:13, 5 August 2010 (UTC)
- One at a time. All the links have been fixed. Armour stats have been added to the infobox. The source doesn't specify what aspect of the gun chamber but until I discover otherwise I'm going to assume the breech, given that that's where flash-tightness tends to be an issue. Linked to Fuji even though it's redlinked. Cam (Chat)(Prof) 16:28, 4 August 2010 (UTC)
- Link battlecruiser and capital ship in the lead. Mitsubishi is red-linked in the text, but not in the infobox. Add armour thickness to the infobox. It might be useful to have an infobox with stats as built and another with stats after her last reconstruction. Link to destroyer Fuji. Gun chambers is ambiguous; do you mean inside the breech of the gun or inside the turret, shell room and/or magazine? Link oil tanker and Rear Admiral Abe. Please add details as to weapon changes made when reconstructed.
- B. Focused:
- What is the exact calibre of the secondary armament? 6-inch (152 mm) or 6.1-inch (155 mm)? She carried 25 mm and 5-inch guns as built? Did her main guns really have 38,000 yards range as built or was this increased during one of her reconstructions? Was she oil or coal fired as built? When the floatplane bombed the merchant ship do you mean Allied, as in Western Allies, or allied to the Japanese? How was her secondary armament modified after the Indian Ocean Raid?
- 6-inch, I've fixed the one instance of the latter. She did not carry 25mm as built, which I do mention in the "Armament section" (Her secondary battery was originally sixteen 6-inch (15 cm) 50-caliber medium guns in single casemates(all located amidships),[4] and eight 5-inch (13 cm) guns.[2]). Yes, her main guns had a 38,000 yard range as built. She was coal-fired (coal sprayed with oil), which is mentioned in the overarching class article but I can easily add in here. I mean Western Allied; the Japanese pilots were good enough to not bomb their own ships, I've changed the wording to reflect that. My sources specify that it was the addition of 25mm mounts, though not how many. Cam (Chat)(Prof) 16:38, 4 August 2010 (UTC)
- Look again at the Navweaps.com page on the 14-inch gun. The reconstructions gradually increased the elevation in a series of stages. The oil/coal fuel info is still needed, either in the infobox or in the main body. Why does the infobox show an 11-inch belt when the text says 8-inches? The five-inch guns were added during the reconstruction, she was originally built with 8 3-inch AA guns and you also need to mention the torpedo tubes originally fitted.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 19:13, 5 August 2010 (UTC)
- Ok. I've fixed it to be an absolute maximum range (43 degrees was the max elevation for the guns, erego that was their absolute max firing range). I've fixed the 3/5 inch disagreement. the infobox actually says 8-11 inches (varying armoured belt depending on when in the career and where on the ship. The Japanese tended to use "all or nothing" armour schemes on their battleships). I'll add torpedo tubes tomorrow when I get home. Cam (Chat)(Prof) 05:06, 8 August 2010 (UTC)
- Alright. Everything's fixed. I've tried to work the boiler type into the text, since my article structure (which I used originally for the Yamato class FA's) dictates putting most of that information into the class article. Cam (Chat)(Prof) 16:07, 12 August 2010 (UTC)
- Ok. I've fixed it to be an absolute maximum range (43 degrees was the max elevation for the guns, erego that was their absolute max firing range). I've fixed the 3/5 inch disagreement. the infobox actually says 8-11 inches (varying armoured belt depending on when in the career and where on the ship. The Japanese tended to use "all or nothing" armour schemes on their battleships). I'll add torpedo tubes tomorrow when I get home. Cam (Chat)(Prof) 05:06, 8 August 2010 (UTC)
- Look again at the Navweaps.com page on the 14-inch gun. The reconstructions gradually increased the elevation in a series of stages. The oil/coal fuel info is still needed, either in the infobox or in the main body. Why does the infobox show an 11-inch belt when the text says 8-inches? The five-inch guns were added during the reconstruction, she was originally built with 8 3-inch AA guns and you also need to mention the torpedo tubes originally fitted.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 19:13, 5 August 2010 (UTC)
- 6-inch, I've fixed the one instance of the latter. She did not carry 25mm as built, which I do mention in the "Armament section" (Her secondary battery was originally sixteen 6-inch (15 cm) 50-caliber medium guns in single casemates(all located amidships),[4] and eight 5-inch (13 cm) guns.[2]). Yes, her main guns had a 38,000 yard range as built. She was coal-fired (coal sprayed with oil), which is mentioned in the overarching class article but I can easily add in here. I mean Western Allied; the Japanese pilots were good enough to not bomb their own ships, I've changed the wording to reflect that. My sources specify that it was the addition of 25mm mounts, though not how many. Cam (Chat)(Prof) 16:38, 4 August 2010 (UTC)
- What is the exact calibre of the secondary armament? 6-inch (152 mm) or 6.1-inch (155 mm)? She carried 25 mm and 5-inch guns as built? Did her main guns really have 38,000 yards range as built or was this increased during one of her reconstructions? Was she oil or coal fired as built? When the floatplane bombed the merchant ship do you mean Allied, as in Western Allies, or allied to the Japanese? How was her secondary armament modified after the Indian Ocean Raid?
- A. Major aspects:
- Is it neutral?
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- Is it stable?
- No edit wars, etc:
- No edit wars, etc:
- Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
- A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
- B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
- A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
- Overall:
- Pass or Fail:
- Pass or Fail:
