Talk:Jynx/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Nominator: Pokelego999 (talk · contribs) 03:09, 15 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Alexandra IDV (talk · contribs) 20:42, 8 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I'll do this one.--Alexandra^IDV 20:42, 8 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Lead and infobox

Seems fine.

Design and characteristics

Originally called "Rujura" in Japanese - In the lead, the Japanese name is introduced as "Rougela", with the Hepburn romanization "Rūjura" (with a long u sound). Here, the name is given as "Rujura" (with a short u sound). Either change to "Rougela" or "Rūjura".
"pre-evolution" is Pokémon jargon, it should be explained.
Jynx Pokémon walk in a dance-like fashion - I'm unsure what the word "Pokémon" is doing here?
Red & Blue, as well as in Leaf Green - rewrite as Red, Blue, and LeafGreen
Does any further explanation exist for "strange orbs"? It's really vague, and I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to be picturing.

Appearances

You've already linked Red and Blue once
There are a few instances where you're italicizing "and" in "Pokémon [game 1] and [game 2]" - it shouldn't be italicized as it's not part of the titles.
It would make more sense to write "the Pokémon Snap games" rather than listing both of them individually, right?
Italicize the [[Pokémon (anime)|''Pokemon'' anime]]
Outside of video games, Jynx first appeared in the Pokémon anime in "Holiday Hi-Jynx" when one of Santa Claus's Jynx was separated from him, Ash and friends helped to return the Jynx to her owner. this feels a bit like a run-on sentence, and its clauses aren't joined together correctly
Jynx later appears in episodes of Pokémon: Advanced Generation, with the inoffensive purple skin color - Whether something is offensive or not is subjective, would consider striking the word "inoffensive" and let readers decide for themselves
Jynx has made a number of appearances in the Pokémon Trading Card Game, with the black-skinned design before the Weatherford controversy - this is the first time Weatherford is mentioned in the article body. Needs to either be explained, or reworded to something like "before the design change"
I think we need to give some (brief) context for vocaloids and Hatsune Miku, we can't expect general readers to know what this means

Controversy and reception

Per WP:CRITS, we should avoid using the word "controvery" in the section heading. I think the simplest solution is to just call the section "reception".
I guess this is not an issue with the article, but it's wild to me that IGN, while criticizing the design for offensiveness, would themselves use the wording "transvestite midget". What the hell.
Italicize heta-uma per MOS:FOREIGNITALIC and link to heta-uma. I would also suggest giving just a little bit of context for the term, maybe by writing the humor of heta-uma art, since we can assume most enwp readers will be unfamiliar with it.

Sources

The sources cited all seem fine.
I spot-checked the use of 10% of the sources at random. The numbers are as of this revision.
- 10, Yahoo. OK.
- 11, TheGamer. OK.
- 27, CBR. OK.
- 37, IGN. OK.
- 38, ScreenRant. OK.

Images

Both the images are very reasonable inclusions. No problems here.
Not part of the GA criteria, but I would recommend adding brief, descriptive alt text to the images for the sake of readers with impaired vision.

Discussion

Looks good! I brought up a few issues I found, but nothing major. I'll put the review on hold for a week - please let me know when you have addressed the above or if you have any questions.--Alexandra^IDV 07:51, 9 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Alexandra IDV I've addressed your concerns above. Can't believe I missed some of this in my initial edits, honestly. Let me know if you have any more concerns in regards to the article. Has one ever considered Magneton? Pokelego999 (talk) 13:05, 9 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Pokelego999: Excellent, thank you very much! I made a few further minor changes, and am now ready to promote this to GA.--Alexandra^IDV 13:16, 9 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]