Talk:Lew Carpenter

Lew Carpenter received a peer review by Wikipedia editors, which is now archived. It may contain ideas you can use to improve this article.

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Coaching

If anyone has information on his coaching career, please add it or leave me a message. Thanks. Jrcrin001 (talk) 00:40, 17 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Rating

The article should now be at B class or there about. Waiting for rating review. Should this article be taken higher to GA class? If so, please help copy editing and wiki clean up as needed. Comments and suggestions are always welcome. Jrcrin001 (talk) 05:50, 23 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]

This needs a bit more work before B-class. There are still some WP:MOS problems. Some things I can spot:

Problems in the section headers: first of all, there are too many. At several points, there's a new header for each paragraph. This seems excessive. Secondly, there are wikilinks inside of the headers, this is not standard practice according to Wikipedia:Manual_of_Style#Section_headings.

Fixed

There's also some problems with the level of prose before it gets to B-class. See Wikipedia:Proseline for what I see as the main problem in the writing.

In order to reach GA class, you'd have to submit it for a review at WP:GAN. Otherwise, this is shaping up to be a decent article. --Jayron32 07:26, 23 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Slowly but surely it will get to B or better. The sections were unwieldly and are now trimed more properly. I see now the irregular flow and broken sequence in the article. I have several other items to work on, so may take a bit to finish. Thanks for the input! Jrcrin001 (talk) 18:50, 23 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I've downgraded this article to Start class. It has a lot of problems. First, I don't think the best infobox is being used here.

see section below The article is employing Template:Infobox college coach, which is intended primarily for people who have coached college sports, and doesn't support NFL Draft information. One of the NFL infoboxes (Category:National Football League infobox templates) would work better. Second, the formatting is not good. There are many improperly capitalized words.

Fixed For example, football positions are not to be capitalized as they are not proper nouns. The use of en dashes and hyphens is often incorrect; see Dash for more on this.

Fixed The bulled lists of players that Carpenter coached are really not appropriate.

info now in notes Those players should be mentioned in flowing prose that is relevant to the article's subject, Carpenter. Jersey numbers, full years of play, and years of Hall of Fame induction for those players are not needed here. Stuff like "Fight song: “V-I-K-I-N-G-S, Skol Vikings, Let’s Go!” is totally out of the place.

Fixed A number of the references have dead links and often the references support information that is totally unneeded, while more crucial passages that border on subjectivity go unsupported.

mostly - please elaborate Ref #19 is a link to a Time magazine cover featuring Vince Lombardi. Why is this needed? Why do we even need to talk about Lombardi being on this cover here?

see comment below Later the articles states "'Coach Lew' went to St. Louis with high hopes as a receivers and tight end coach for head coach Bob Holloway," but the supporting citation gives no evidence about his attitude toward taking this new job. How do we know he had "high hopes"?

this was based on OR, and can not be used in article This article needs a lot of work. Jweiss11 (talk) 05:16, 24 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I went through what you had listed and added

with a comment as needed. I tried some other clean up also. Regarding the Time Magazine article: The cover page has a link to the article on Lombardi and the Packers. I have now provided a link that is 7/10 of the way through the Times Magazine article where Carpenter is mentioned. I do appreciate your input in making this article better. Next comments please. Jrcrin001 (talk) 01:25, 6 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

As it is currently written, the article meets the requirements for C-class so I upgraded it. //Gbern3 (talk) 19:56, 16 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Info box

Check link found one red link. Fixed
DAB is clean.

Info box was replaced, but the appropiate info box has a width problem. Can any one fix? More later. Jrcrin001 (talk) 22:34, 24 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]

What exactly is the width problem with the infobox? It looks okay to me. References #34 and #40 link to "page not found" type error pages. Jweiss11 (talk) 03:10, 25 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The left side of the infobox has a info column that does not show the critical info on one line. The most obvious of this in the infobox is:

Under Team(s) as a player the 1953-1955 should match up with Detroit Lions and the 1957-1958 should match up with Cleveland Browns. The same for 1959-1963 Green Bay Packers.
Under Team(s) as a coach/administrator the 1964-1966 should match up with the Minnesotta Vikings, the 1967-1968 for the Falcons, 1969 for the Redskins, the 1970-1972 for the Cardinals, etc.

When you look farther up in the infobox, items such as Date of birth should be on one line and not two. I compared this info box to others of its kind that do not have this problem. It must be a minor addition or omission that skews the infobox from showing properly. I can not figure out what I missed. Can some one help on this? Jrcrin001 (talk) 01:25, 6 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The problem with the infobox seems to be the Honors field. The length of the value in the field is blowing up the layout of the infobox. Jweiss11 (talk) 05:53, 10 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the clue. I removed "Arkansas Sports Hall of Fame in 1988
University of Arkansas Sports Hall of Fame in 2000" from Honors= and this fixed that issue. When time permits I will work on this some more. Jrcrin001 (talk) 00:26, 13 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Pre-peer review

I am now requesting a peer review to move forward. Jrcrin001 (talk) 02:19, 10 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

This is still a painfully troubled article. It's not remotely close to getting to B class. It has problems on just about every level: bad formatting, poorly constructed prose, claims and subjective statements that are not supported by citations, way too much focus on the people around Carpenter and not Carpenter himself. Jrcrin001, please take a look at my most recent series of edits as I address some of the simpler problems. The other thing I would suggest is taking a look at some other high-quality, well-rated football biography articles to get a sense of their style, organization, and focus. A good example is John Maulbetsch, who played and coached in the early part of the 20th century. See more examples here: Category:GA-Class college football articles. Jweiss11 (talk) 06:27, 10 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

External links modified

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External links modified

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External links modified

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