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Talk:Michigan Stove Company/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Hog Farm (talk · contribs) 16:03, 13 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Criteria

[edit]

1. Prose ✓ Pass

2. Verifiability ✓ Pass

3. Depth of Coverage ✓ Pass

4. Neutral ✓ Pass

5. Stable ✓ Pass

6. Illustrations ✓ Pass

7. Miscellaneous ✓ Pass

Comments

[edit]

1.

  • The lead does not summarize the contents of all sections of the article well enough, it could deal with a good expansion.
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 13:20, 14 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "DuCharme invested in the company, which they incorporated as a stock company in 1864 and became the Detroit Stove Works." - Look at the grammar on this one, it feels off to me.
 Done - copy edited accordingly. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 13:48, 14 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Merrill I Mills" - Period after the I unless it's a Harry S Truman with-the-middle-name-being-a-single-letter situation
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 13:48, 14 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The company made a variety of cooking and heating stoves, which it marketed under their "Jewel" brand[7] and at its peak employed a thousand workers." - Comma after brand
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 13:51, 14 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Dwyer was a compulsive worker" - Which Dwyer?
 Done - "Jeremiah" --Doug Coldwell (talk) 13:53, 14 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • " so chose a similar-sounding name for the company's new brand." - add he between so and chose
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 13:56, 14 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "By 1907, Dwyer had become president of Michigan Stove Company" - Which Dwyer?
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 14:00, 14 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The company hired metallurgist William J. Keep, to " - Drop the comma
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 14:03, 14 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Wikilink aluminum
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 14:04, 14 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "it issued a catalog of its products" - This is the start of a sentence, so it should be capitalized
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 14:06, 14 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • " Constantinople, Manila]" - Extraneous ]
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 14:07, 14 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • " by Welbilt Corporation" --> "by the Welbilt Corporation"?
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 14:08, 14 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

2.

  • Ref 12 needs a via newspapers.com parameter
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 14:13, 14 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Ref 32 appears to be dead (it looks like only part of the URL got copied over, the URL stops in a weird spot)
 Done - corrected URL. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 14:20, 14 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

3.

  • What role did Misner play?
 Done "partner" --Doug Coldwell (talk) 14:31, 14 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • There appears to have been a death as a result of the fire, that would be worth adding.
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 14:48, 14 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

4.

5.

6.

  • See WP:GALLERY. There's too many pictures for this long of text, and it's unbalanced. Pictures are helpful, but too many cause issues. The number of images should be reduced.
 Done Dropped 4 images. I put just the 3 branch office images in section "Offices, branches, and distributors"--Doug Coldwell (talk) 14:58, 14 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Can you add the fate of the World's Largest Stove like you did for the Barbour article?
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 15:08, 14 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

7.

  • Is the Michigan Stove Company's founding date in 1861 when Dwyer bought it out? If so, it's only technically before the Civil War if it occurred before the firing on Fort Sumter in April. If this isn't the founding date, it should be stated more clearly.
 Done - Copy edited accordingly to explain that 1861 was actually the starting history of the company.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 18:00, 14 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Consider adding the infobox company template.
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:18, 14 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Or does the company officially start in 1871?
 Done - Formed and incorporated the new firm of Michigan Stove Company in 1871. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 18:00, 14 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • The current layout is rather awkward. I see no reason why the mergers and acquisitions shouldn't be part of the history.
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 18:15, 14 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • The descriptions section is an odd one. Some of this material would be best included in the history section, while others of it would be better included in a products section.
 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 18:38, 14 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • You have a level-two header that encompasses one sentence. This is generally discouraged unless there's a really good reason to have such a short section.
 Done - Made 2 sentences of this section AND it includes the images of the branch offices.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 15:15, 14 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

That's it for the first go-through, placing on hold. Hog Farm (talk) 22:42, 13 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Hog Farm: - addressed all issues. Can you take a look at it now. Thanks. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:18, 14 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
@Doug Coldwell: - Looks way better. Just two little points remaining - The owner parameter can be dropped in the infobox, that's for if there's a single prominent owner like Bill Gates or such. I'd also recommend changing "Detroit, United States" in the infobox to "Detroit, Michigan, United States", as Detroit (disambiguation) lists communities named Detroit in seven states. Hog Farm (talk) 19:24, 14 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
@Hog Farm: - Done.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:30, 14 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
It's a GA now
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