Talk:Miracle of Sound/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: GeoffreyT2000 (talk · contribs) 18:41, 4 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I will begin reviewing this article now. GeoffreyT2000 (talk, contribs) 18:41, 4 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

The criteria fail because "YouTube" is not correctly capitalized under the "Early life and origins of Miracle of Sound" section, the "Collaboration with others" section contains a typo ("For is album", which should be "For his album"), and there are unreliable Twitter sources. GeoffreyT2000 (talk, contribs) 19:16, 4 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Drop by review

There are a lot of mistakes in the source formation as well. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 19:26, 4 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@MarioSoulTruthFan I'm not sure what is meant by this comment. Are you referring to the formatting style of references? Insert CleverPhrase Here 19:51, 4 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

If it refers to the ref formats, I've expanded the bare or semi bare references to include some missing details. Insert CleverPhrase Here 20:26, 4 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@GeoffreyT2000: you know the reason you present for this falling is not enough, right? MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 19:28, 4 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I mean stuff like this "escapistmagazine.com.", avoid SHOUTING in references as well" . MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 20:36, 4 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks. I'll fix these up. Insert CleverPhrase Here 22:31, 4 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@MarioSoulTruthFan Done. Insert CleverPhrase Here 22:30, 5 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@Insertcleverphrasehere: Still missed this escapistmagazine.com. The Escapist or Escapist magazine, missing one twitter reference and wikilink those you can. There is a reference that doesn't have a date, accessdate, work or publisher, author nothing at all. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 23:42, 5 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Refs should be fixed now, as far as I can see. There are a few minor formatting differences between references now, but not for references of the same source, as far as i can tell. Nothing that warrants further work anyway. Insert CleverPhrase Here 11:47, 9 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Response to review

@GeoffreyT2000: The issues you brought up are easily fixed, however, one thing you have brought up is unreliable twitter sources. There are three twitter sources, all of which conform to each of the 5 points of WP:Twitter:

the material is neither unduly self-serving nor an exceptional claim;
it does not involve claims about third parties;
it does not involve claims about events not directly related to the source;
there is no reasonable doubt as to its authenticity;
the article is not based primarily on such sources.

I have fixed the other typos you found. Insert CleverPhrase Here 20:05, 4 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@Insertcleverphrasehere: I couldn't agree more. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 21:08, 4 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@MarioSoulTruthFan and Insertcleverphrasehere: OK, I will make this GAN pass. GeoffreyT2000 (talk, contribs) 18:37, 7 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@GeoffreyT2000: there are still some issues in the prose as you pointed out, please carry with the review so it can be a good GA article. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 18:38, 7 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@MarioSoulTruthFan even though it has passed already I am keen to work with you in further improving the prose. Let me know which areas you think need the most work. Thanks. Insert CleverPhrase Here 19:29, 7 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Cool. @Insertcleverphrasehere:

"Dunne later made two additional songs based on the game; "Crucible" and "Kalros"." → source?

Done. Insert CleverPhrase Here

One of Miracle of Sound's earliest songs, "Gordon Freeman Saved My Life", was included as a playable song in the game Rock Band. → wrong placement?

Not sure where it would fit better. I added that it was 'later' added as a song on rockband, as it wasn't till several years after the songs release, thus it doesn't really work in the 'origins' section. I joined it with the previous sentence and added a bit about his songs being used 'within video games'. Insert CleverPhrase Here

Vistas was reviewed positively, receiving 3.5 out of 5 stars → mixed review

Done. Insert CleverPhrase Here

, and the album was also given a 5 out of 5 score by Rock Review → .The album was also given a 5 out of 5 score by Rock Review.

Done. Insert CleverPhrase Here

"synthesise drums and some other instruments" → other word instead of synthesise, avoid repetitions of vocabulary.

Done. Insert CleverPhrase Here

"and "Mother of Flame",[37] and Lorna Dollery on "Dream of the Sky", "Dream of Goodbye", and "Evacuate"" → only the last song should have and, the rest is separated by commas.

Done, though not as simple as suggested. Insert CleverPhrase Here

" "I think TuneCore has the artist's best interests at heart but their methods need massive changes. People using our songs in lets plays/gaming videos is free advertising. I depend on this kind of word of mouth spread to popularize my music as I do not have the money for advertising and that kind of thing. They are trying to help us by collecting what we 'are owed', but they are doing more damage than help." → use your words in between quotes.

Not sure what you mean here. Insert CleverPhrase Here

There are still some issues with the references.

I think these are fixed now. Insert CleverPhrase Here

This is all I have to say, the rest is impeccable. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 19:46, 7 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks very much for this, I will work through this in the next week (a bit busy moving into a new flat and starting a new job at the moment). Insert CleverPhrase Here 01:27, 8 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

You welcome, ping me when you are done with them. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 14:31, 8 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@MarioSoulTruthFan Done-ish. See my comments above. Insert CleverPhrase Here 21:23, 9 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@Insertcleverphrasehere: It's almost there, good job. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 21:49, 9 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

References 22 and 23 still have entire names in capital letters, avoid shouting!
Regarding that long quote, I was trying to say use your own words instead of that huge quote, or use part of the quote interpolated with your own words.

@MarioSoulTruthFan I missed 22. For 23 the text is in Russian, and don't exactly have the keyboard to fix that one so I'll leave it for now, might get my Russian friend to uncaps it for me. Fixed the quote. Insert CleverPhrase Here 02:51, 10 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Good job. I'm not sure about the sources being reliable but I guess the reviewer is aware of them, since most seem to come from gaming (not and expert). From me that's all. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 20:20, 10 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

BTW I also fixed the Russian allcaps. Insert CleverPhrase Here 02:31, 11 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]