Talk:Murder of Logan Mwangi

This is the talk page for discussing improvements to the Murder of Logan Mwangi article.
This is not a forum for general discussion of the article's subject.

Put new text under old text. Click here to start a new topic.
New to Wikipedia? Welcome! Learn to edit; get help.

Article policies

Find sources: Google (books · news · scholar · free images · WP refs) · FENS · JSTOR · TWL

Murder of Logan Mwangi was nominated as a Social sciences and society good article, but it did not meet the good article criteria at the time (August 28, 2022). There are suggestions on the review page for improving the article. If you can improve it, please do; it may then be renominated.

While the biographies of living persons policy does not apply directly to the subject of this article, it may contain material that relates to living persons, such as friends and family of persons no longer living, or living persons involved in the subject matter. Unsourced or poorly sourced contentious material about living persons must be removed immediately. If such material is re-inserted repeatedly, or if there are other concerns related to this policy, please see this noticeboard.

Biography

	Biography portal This article is within the scope of WikiProject Biography, a collaborative effort to create, develop and organize Wikipedia's articles about people. All interested editors are invited to join the project and contribute to the discussion. For instructions on how to use this banner, please refer to the documentation.BiographyWikipedia:WikiProject BiographyTemplate:WikiProject Biographybiography articles
	An editor has requested that an image or photograph be added to this article.

Crime and Criminal Biography Low‑importance

	This article is within the scope of WikiProject Crime and Criminal Biography, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of Crime and Criminal Biography articles on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join the discussion and see a list of open tasks.Crime and Criminal BiographyWikipedia:WikiProject Crime and Criminal BiographyTemplate:WikiProject Crime and Criminal BiographyCrime-related articles
Low	This article has been rated as Low-importance on the project's importance scale.

Death Low‑importance

	This article is within the scope of WikiProject Death, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of Death on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join the discussion and see a list of open tasks.DeathWikipedia:WikiProject DeathTemplate:WikiProject DeathDeath articles
Low	This article has been rated as Low-importance on the project's importance scale.

Politics of the United Kingdom Low‑importance

	This article is within the scope of WikiProject Politics of the United Kingdom, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of Politics of the United Kingdom on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join the discussion and see a list of open tasks.Politics of the United KingdomWikipedia:WikiProject Politics of the United KingdomTemplate:WikiProject Politics of the United KingdomPolitics of the United Kingdom articles
Low	This article has been rated as Low-importance on the project's importance scale.

United Kingdom: Politics of the United Kingdom Low‑importance

	United Kingdom portal This article is within the scope of WikiProject United Kingdom, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of the United Kingdom on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join the discussion and see a list of open tasks.United KingdomWikipedia:WikiProject United KingdomTemplate:WikiProject United KingdomUnited Kingdom articles
Low	This article has been rated as Low-importance on the project's importance scale.
	This page is under the stewardship of WikiProject Politics of the United Kingdom.

Wales Low‑importance

	Wales portal This article is within the scope of WikiProject Wales, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of Wales on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join the discussion and see a list of open tasks.WalesWikipedia:WikiProject WalesTemplate:WikiProject WalesWales articles
Low	This article has been rated as Low-importance on the project's importance scale.

Lead section clean-up

I have tagged the lead section of this article as possibly needing a rewrite because the opening paragraph(s) should succinctly summarize the article. The first sentence should briefly explain why the event being covered is notable. Unlike a newspaper article, the lead should not tease the reader for them to read on, rather it should inform the reader enough for them to decide whether to read the full article, or not. - Cameron Dewe (talk) 09:50, 5 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Murder of Logan Mwangi/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Steelkamp (talk · contribs) 09:00, 19 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Hello. I will be reviewing this article over the coming days. Steelkamp (talk) 09:00, 19 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Good article criteria

Well written

I'm not going to quickfail you for this as it should be easy to fix, but the user on the talk page is correct: the lead does need to be rewritten. In addition to what that user mentioned, the lead starts out as if the article is titled Logan Mwangi, as opposed to Murder of Logan Mwangi. The convictions of the murderers should also be mentioned in the lead. Steelkamp (talk) 10:15, 19 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Lead mentions Cole in particular was bigoted about Logan's ethnicity, but his ethnicity is not mentioned in the lead. The body of the article mentions he was mixed race, but does not say which particular races. You could solve this by mentioning the ethnicities of each of Logan's parents. Steelkamp (talk) 10:15, 19 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

I think that Template:Infobox event would work better than the current infobox. Steelkamp (talk) 10:15, 19 July 2022 (UTC) There were only minor problems with the rest of the article's prose, which I fixed myself. Steelkamp (talk) 10:15, 19 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Sarn is only mentioned in the lead, not the body. Steelkamp (talk) 04:25, 28 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
The body could do with some more organisation, particularly the background section. An example of this is that Mulligan is discussed in detail in a paragraph below where Mulligan was first mentioned. Steelkamp (talk) 04:25, 28 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
but expressed a desire to kill Logan whose name he never used. It isn't clear to me what this means. Steelkamp (talk) 04:25, 28 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Verifiable with no original research

All the sources look reliable. I have yet to check for text–source integrity. Steelkamp (talk) 11:40, 19 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Broad in its coverage

I think this article could do with significant expansion. The sections on the murder and the police investigation and trial should be expanded. These sources show things that should be added to the article: [1] [2] [3] That third link in particular contains lots of information missing from this article. Some specific things that come to mind are:

The suspects This has no detail on who the suspects are. The article does not state when they were arrested either. Steelkamp (talk) 11:40, 19 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
What day did they receive their sentences? Steelkamp (talk) 11:40, 19 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Are there any avenues for appeal. Have they indicated they will appeal? Steelkamp (talk) 11:40, 19 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
indications that Williamson had been awake throughout the night the body was discarded. What specific indications were there? Steelkamp (talk) 04:25, 28 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Neutral

Stable

Illustrated, if possible

I recommend alt text for the image. Steelkamp (talk) 10:15, 19 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
We could do with an image of Logan under fair use. Steelkamp (talk) 10:15, 19 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

General

I'm going to place this review on hold for seven days whilst you fix the above issues. As there is some expansion that needs to happen, I will review the second criterion after you have expanded the article.

Thank you for the advice, I will work on the changes you suggested over the weekend.Llewee (talk) 23:18, 20 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Steelkamp, I was wondering if you would be able to look at the article again. I've tried to address the issues you pointed out.--Llewee (talk) 15:11, 14 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Ok, I'll look at the article today. Steelkamp (talk) 04:50, 15 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Hello Steelkamp, It's been almost two weeks now. Are you sure your able to commit the time to finish this?--Llewee (talk) 09:45, 27 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

I'll look at it now. Steelkamp (talk) 13:38, 27 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry, but I'm going to fail this review, mainly because the lead section is still not adequate. I know it says "the precise nature of the events leading up to the 5-year-old boy's death are difficult to ascertain", but the lead lacks detail and is disorganised. The lead also contains little information on the police investigation and trial. Feel free to renominate when those issues are fixed. Steelkamp (talk) 04:25, 28 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]