Talk:Sky Fits Heaven/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Aoba47 (talk · contribs) Aoba47 (talk) 03:15, 26 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Grabbing this for a review if that is okay with you. Aoba47 (talk) 03:15, 26 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

I believe the format in the infobox more so refers to the format in which the song was made available to the public. I would exchange remix for 12" and CD single as the remix was made available through those means.
The wording of this sentence sounds somewhat incorrect: “Written and produced by Madonna and Patrick Leonard, the remix contained additional production from William Orbit, and lyrical interpretation from British poet Max Blagg’s 1992 poem, What Fits?.” The sentence can be read as the remix adding in the lyrical interpretation rather than it already being a part of the original. I would rephrase or turn the poem part into its own sentence to avoid confusion.
- I have reworded it now for better clarity. —IB ^{[ Poke ]} 09:03, 5 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]
I am a little confused by the second sentence of the first paragraph of the “Background and controversy” section. It makes it sound like there are two separate advertisements, one discussed in the first sentence with the jeans, and another shown on NBC. After looking at the source, I thought it was referring to one series of advertisements. I would suggest revising this to make that more clear, or letting me know if I am incorrect (I could be missing something obvious).
- No you are correct, it was commercials. —IB ^{[ Poke ]} 09:03, 5 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]
It should be “While composing her” not “During composing her”.
I am confused by the first sentence of the second paragraph of the “Remixes and chart performance” section. Do you mean “Since it was not released as a commercial single or selected for radio airplay”? The use of “Despite not” does not make sense to me in this context.
- Lol, that was definitely a miss by Carbrera. —IB ^{[ Poke ]} 09:03, 5 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Include an ALT description for the image in the “Critical reception” section.
Revise the first sentence of the “Live performances” section. The phrase “made a number of televised appearances and live performances of the album's songs” does not match this article.
Remove the “as noted by AllMusic’s Clive Young” part as it sounds awkward and you can just use the reference. Move the identification and wikilink with Young to the following sentence.
Please include a “Formats and track listings” section and put the information about the CD single and vinyl mention in the “Remixes and chart performance” section.
Again, remix is not a format. Remix package is a format, but not remix. Instead, put the vinyl and CD single information here, as well as the demo CD.

Final thoughts

@Carbrera: Great work with this article! It was a very interesting and informative read. A majority of my notes are small and nitpicky. The only major comments are the addition of a “Formats and track listings” section and changing the information regarding format (as remix is not a format, in the way that format is defined in this context). Once my comments are addressed, I will pass this. Aoba47 (talk) 04:26, 26 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- @Aoba47: all done on behalf on Carbrera. —IB ^{[ Poke ]} 09:03, 5 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  - @IndianBio: Thank you for your responses. This is a definite ✓ Pass. Aoba47 (talk) 14:41, 5 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]