User talk:Joshua Gramley/sandbox4

Evaluations

6/10/2019 Evaluation by Eric Scheitlin

• Spelling/Grammar- Exceeds

Overall a splendid job on grammar. I read over your page twice and couldn't seem to find anything, so either I am terrible at checking grammar, or you are pretty set in this category. (Probably the second)

• Language- Exceeds

I loved your tone in this, it was very informative, without any persuasiveness, to indicate a preference towards this particular city, which is definitely good. It makes you sound professional and makes the page more worth its while.

• Organization- Exceeds

As always, with the other two post, I believe your organization is pretty superior and it makes so much sense. The flow in this is perfect too.

• Coding- Meets

I don't exactly know how to grade this category, but nothing looks too wonky.

• Validity- Meets

Your paper was good, and with so many citations and sources, your ethos and logos was perfect.

• Completion- Meets

You completed the assignment and the paper- nothing more to say here.

• Relevance- Meets

Nothing irrelevant or off topic. Everything seemed to be related to this old Soviet satellite state.

• Sources- Exceeds

You had 24 which is perfect.

• Citations- Exceeds

24 Citations.

• References- Meets

All looking good.

Overall - Splendid job, everything looked pretty stellar, but I would try to add more of a clear title to your area, because its not specifically given. When I first clicked on the link in discussions, I had no idea what it was, so I had to continue to read. Other than that, it looks great, and you have very little else to do. Good Job!!

06/08/2018 Evaluation by WavesOfAmur

• Points: 35.5/40
• Grade: 89%

• Spelling/Grammar

Meets Expectations (4) - I haven't noted any immediate grammar or spelling mistakes in your draft, looks rather good thus far. One thing that I noticed, however, is the sentence "Minsk's cultural identity remains deeply influenced by its experience as a Soviet state." (found under "Identity and Cultural Memory" subsection in "Culture" section) - I was wondering if you meant to write "its experience as a Soviet city", instead? Minsk, after all, is not its own state, and it may seem rather odd to see it worded out as such. I also noticed that you are missing a space between "Following the 2014..." and "international sanctions during the Ukrainian crisis" (section "Casinos") - not really grammar nor spelling, but it seemed fitting to point it out here.

• Language

Meets Expectations (4) - language looks like it integrates into Wikipedia rather well. It looks like you've really done a great job reading the actual article and trying to copy its structure, so that seems fine. Also, the section "The Arts" sounds peculiar - perhaps you could rename it to just "Arts"? I noticed that a similar section on the actual article does not exist, so maybe it could be changed a little bit?

• Organization

Meets Expectations (4) - sentence structures are broken up into respectable paragraphs, and ideas flow with them coherently. One thing that I noticed is the sentence "Minsk is the cultural centre of Belarus. It is home to some of the country's most prestigious cultural institutions..." while this sentence is fine on its own, the place where it's been put looks odd to me. It's not necessarily wrong if it's your style of inputting this information, but it just looks strange to have it there. Perhaps it needs a bit more added into it? or perhaps it can be moved into its own subsection and let the rest of your ideas carry it through? again, not really criticism or a mistake, just something that I noted.

• Coding

Meets Expectations (4) - provided I understand what "coding" is actually grading, yours seems fine. You do, however, have some red text in your references numbers 6 and 7, both seem to be regarding the "date" value.

• Validity

Meets Expectations (4) - Validity checks out okay. I have some comments in regard to one of your sources, but I'll leave it for the requirements below.

• Completion

Meets Expectations (4) - Completion is not a problem so far as paragraph requirements are concerned, but you are missing some info according to your notes you've left in some sections, such as in "The Arts" section, particularly subsections "Music" and "Literature".

• Relevance

Exceeds Expectations (4.5) - The material looks overwhelmingly relevant in my opinion. Everything talks about Minsk and deviates little from the city's focus.

• Sources

Meets Expectations (4) - Most sources seem okay, and the quantity is abundant. I did notice one news source, "STV", but it looks like you've established that it's a news source. I did, however, also notice "The Guardian" as a source, and it might be worth noting the info about Casinos came from the Guardian, as it may be worse relative to news sources (STV would be better, but of course it wouldn't report stuff like this at times). New York times also persists among your sources, and may need to be taken with a grain of salt. Either way, this is just a small detail, probably a nitpick, but it's what we're told to do.

• Citations

Meets Expectations (4) - As mentioned before, there is a problem with red text regarding "date" format in sources #6 and #7 - it might be worth looking into that before publishing. Moreover, a call back from 'Validity' section, you can also one additional tidbit to the "Mlin" sentence under Tourism and Entertainment - the source you're quoting says that it gathers 500 artisans from Belarus and also from ABROAD, so it might be worth noting that as well, as I think it's a significant set of information to include about a city's population.

• References

Meets Expectations (4) - Red text in the "date" format looks like your only problem, though there seem to be inconsistencies in formatting - some sources use format "Last name, first letter of first name", while others use "Last name, First name" - Sources #1 and #10, as well as sources #11 and #12, exhibit this inconsistency. In the larger sense, however, this is not really an issue, but it's also something that I noticed.

6/9/2019 Evaluation by User:BethanyJJohnson

• Points: 34/40
• Grade: 85%

Spelling/Grammar

Nearly meets standard

"between 1950-1960" not sure if you are talking about the specific years of 1950 and 1960 (in which case, maybe it would be better to write "between 1950 and 1960"), or the 1950s and 1960s. "Belarusian language instruction in public schools was reduced; in Minsk, between 1993 and 1998, the number of first-year students studying the language in school dropped from 58% to 4.7%." I'd break this into two sentences. "Government buildings in Minsk may be labeled in a mixture of Belarusian, Russian, and combinations of the two"- "mixture of" and "combinations" is a little repetitive. Perhaps "may be labeled in Belarusian, Russian, or a combination of both" "Their 2002 Minsk Metro campaign" something feels off about the usage of "their"... I might just be nitpicking but you might want to change it to something like "The society's 2002..."

Language

Meets standard

You've done a good job sticking to academic wording here. Nice work!

Organization

Nearly meets standard

I feel like the "cityscape" and "landmarks" sections could be combined as one. Just a thought!

I would also consider nixing all of the non-theatre topics under "Arts", since some of the subjects only have one sentence, and some don't have anything yet. Maybe just write about theatre, or somehow string all of your facts together under a well-flowing paragraph. You could even put "arts" or "theatre" under "entertainment" and have a separate section for holidays and festivals.

Coding

Nearly meets standard

Some of your links are in red rather than blue. When I click on them, they go to a nonexistent page. I would only link to pages that are relevant and currently have information already in them.

Validity

Meets standard

I didn't see anything that didn't seem like a valid fact.

Completion

Nearly meets standard

Please add dates to the holidays.

Relevance

Meets standard

Looks good to me, although I don't know that the casino section is relevant unless you have more info in a larger section (i.e., theatre and arts alongside casinos under "entertainment"

Sources

Nearly meets standard

A few of your sources are in Russian (or Belarusian?). I'd be careful to cite non-English sources as they are hard to fact check for anyone who doesn't speak the language, and we can't always trust the browser to translate them correctly.

Citations

Meets standard

"Minsk is the cultural centre of Belarus. It is home to some of the country's most prestigious cultural institutions, as well as the state's headquarters of cultural administration." Maybe add a citation here?

References

Nearly meets standard

Make sure you aren't using the proxy link from the PSU library (3 and 18)! You should be able to find the real link for most academic resources if they have a "cite this source" link or button. I've made this mistake so many times! You seem to have mostly solid sources, a few academic ones. But I would double check the formatting for several of the sources. Just make sure that they all use the same formatting, and you don't have any missing information. There are a few sources that have notes in red from Wiki suggesting that they need more info.

BethanyJJohnson (talk) 21:40, 9 June 2019 (UTC)

6/13/19 Evaluation by GbrooksPDXStudent

• Points: 44.5

Spelling/Grammar Exceeds Standard: 4.5

Not a single spelling or grammatical error I could find, despite the size and depth of the page. Excellent work!

Language Exceeds Standard: 4.5

Encyclopedic tone and great sentence structure. Loved the refrain from overly specialized or academic wording to allow anyone to read and understand the information.

Organization Exceeds Standard: 4.5

Great use of the legend and its subsections, along with an evident chronological order to much of the info.

Coding Exceeds Standard: 4.5

Coding was flawless, good uses of bolding and images.

Validity Exceeds Standard: 4.5

Information was all correct and highly detailed. Sources back up many of the paragraphs and information present.

Completion Exceeds Standard: 4.5

Have to say this was above and beyond in terms of size, detail, and amount of information.

Relevance Exceeds Standard: 4.5

Each section had the appropriate information and nothing was extra or irrelevant.

Sources Exceeds Standard: 4.5

Plenty of sources and each one from a reputable source or highly academic.

Citations Exceeds Standard: 4.5

Citations were in proper format and kept in a neet order. Great work!

References Meets Standard: 4

Weren't as many references as I expected but the few that were linked were well placed.

GbrooksPDXStudent (talk) 08:24, 13 June 2019 (UTC)

6/18/2019 Evaluation by DrMichaelWright

DrMichaelWright (talk) 13:45, 18 June 2019 (UTC)

I'm greatly impressed. You might, however, put some of this material on the [Belarus] article instead. Also, rework the references a bit. I really hope that you'll put this up on live Wikipedia, because this is really great material! Let me know - in a week so that I have time to rest - if you need a hand with some of the technical suggestions.

• Points: 40/40
• Grade: 100%

Spelling/Grammar

Meets standard.

Language

Meets standard.

Organization

Meets standard.

Coding

Meets standard.

Validity

Meets standard.

Completion

Exceeds standard.

• I'm blown away!

Relevance

Meets standard.

• Much of this is really material that may best belong to other articles. It seems like too much is about Belarus in general, rather than Minsk in particular. The language section of the Belarus article is really crying out for much of what you have here.

Sources

Exceeds standard.

• Really outstanding!

Citations

Meets standard.

• It would be an idea to order your citation notes a bit more, so that they appear in numerical order. Also, to have the first instance of a certain reference also be the one that defines the name ID. While you're at it, make name IDs that help the human reader of the code know which reference it pertains to rather than some number.

References

Nearly meets standard.

• You should not have ALL CAPS in your references, even if it appears that way in your original source. An exception would be for acronyms.
• Using the citation engine in the Wikipedia editor would improve the formatting of your references and provide some useful elements to readers. I see that some are done that way, but not others.
• You use a number of sources so extensively, that they should be treated differently from the others. They should be put in the bibliography of the Minsk page, with the references using {{sfn}}|shortened footnotes to do so. (I just redid the bibliography on the Minsk article to give it a bit better structure.