Wikipedia:Peer review/Everton F.C./archive2

Everton F.C.

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it was formerly a featured article and lost its status therefore it needs improving

Thanks, SenorKristobbal (talk) 01:05, 4 November 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Casliber

I'm copyediting as I go. I'll place ^{[citation needed]} tags where they are needed as a pointer. I'll jot questions below: Casliber (talk · contribs) 11:48, 5 November 2011 (UTC)[reply]

As an aside, it might be worth going over History of Everton F.C. and buffing it to GA status. This going-over might help develop the Everton F.C. article too.

In the Everton F.C. article, there's very little about the club's most notable players other than mentions with transfer fees (and a little about Dixie Dean)

e.g. are Tommy Lawton and Joe Mercer worth a mention in the parent article, and then embellished more in the daughter/history article. i.e. what did Lawton, Mercer and Jones do that was so successful....

Comment

Is club singular or plural? It can't be both--86.163.16.221 (talk) 14:25, 5 November 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from The Rambling Man (talk · contribs)

Seriously, these comments are just on the lead. I'm happy to help further, but this needs more work.

Yes, club/team singular plural thing. Clearly much more of an issue for our US readers than us, we have something like a discretionary plural which allows this kind of bad-ass grammatical behaviour. But for me, a general rule would be refer to the "club" as a singular and the "team" etc as a plural. Not going to please all the people all the time, particular the US readers, but better than nothing.
Link association football.
No need for "the city of".
Should be able to find a link for English football.
"immediate post World War Two period" probably a bunch of hyphens missing here!
Is League Championship capitalised or not?
"The club's most recent major trophy was the 1995 FA Cup. The club's .." The club's... boring repeat.
"averaging over 36,000 people per game" no need for "people"
"and a few players. " - vague, not encyclopaedic.
What's an "expandable stadium"?
"50,000 seater " hyphen.
Link Kirby in the lead.
"The club's home colours have traditionally been royal blue and white, since the 1901–02 season." either traditionally or since a season. Not both.
"Their most famous player is Dixie Dean," that's pure original research or opinion. I would rephrase it to be neutral.

The Rambling Man (talk) 19:53, 8 November 2011 (UTC)[reply]