Wikipedia:Peer review/Ronin (film)/archive1
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I've listed this article for peer review because I'd like to see if we could possibly get it to GA as it's another stuff that is aligned with my interest. I need help on the Production section because I have become overwhelmed by the sources I've gathered and really don't know where to put which. (e.g blurb about the movie's car chases and how they were utilized). More importantly, need to know how this section could be improved without verging too-detailed.
Thanks, SLIGHTLYmad 06:11, 10 October 2017 (UTC)
- Ok! Maybe just a few suggestions.
- In the lead I think we have a bit overzealous with genres. I try to remove the ones a user can figure out for themselves. For example, you say it's a spy action thriller, but in the same paragraph you already explain its about ex-CIA ops, so I think we can drop spy without losing any key information.
- Some citations are missing accessdates, like the AFI source.
- "John David Zeik, a newcomer to the film industry,[6] conceived of the film's idea after reading James Clavell's novel Shōgun at age 15.[7]" Not sure how this could be re-phrased, but it makes it look like he started on the script when he was 15, which I'm not sure is the case?
- If there could be any more information on Mamet entering the production in particular it could be interesting. Even just a sentence or two.
- "Frankenheimer, however, kept the violence at an acceptable level and distanced from anything graphically violent, much less gratuitous, that can recoil the audience" Is this him saying that or who? Might want to re-phrase it.
- To pad out the earlier section of gathering together the cast, i'd move how the cinematographer was brought in to where after where we talk about getting the screenwriters involved.
- Sometimes I like to make home media its own section within releases to pad it out. it will make otherwise smaller sections feel fuller and a tighter article.
- Perhaps add some retrospective reviews? Arrow released the film on blu-ray recently so I'm sure some critics may have come back to take a second look at this film.
I think that's all I can get, I can answer anymore specific questions if you'd like. I appreciate your patience on my peer review. :) Andrzejbanas (talk) 03:48, 17 October 2017 (UTC)