Talk:Howard Green (American football)/GA1

GA Review

Passed. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 23:26, 5 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Nominator: WikiOriginal-9 (talk · contribs) 16:09, 1 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Gonzo fan2007 (talk · contribs) 16:37, 4 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I'll do this one. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 16:37, 4 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written. a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): It is factually accurate and verifiable, as shown by a source spot-check. a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism): It is broad in its coverage. a (major aspects): b (focused): It follows the neutral point of view policy. Fair representation without bias: It is stable. No edit wars, etc.: It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate. a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall: Pass/Fail:
· · ·

Comments

Lead

Initially, the lead seems too long for this size article.
- Green played in the NFL for the Baltimore Ravens in 2002, the New Orleans Saints from 2003 to 2004, the Seattle Seahawks from 2007 to 2008, the New York Jets from 2009 to 2010, and the Green Bay Packers from 2010 to 2011. -> recommend deleting the years as too detailed for the lead
- In Super Bowl XLV against the Pittsburgh Steelers, Green hit quarterback Ben Roethlisberger's arm, forcing an interception that was returned for a touchdown. The Packers ended up winning the game by a score of 31–25. => recommend combining, like In Super Bowl XLV against the Pittsburgh Steelers, which the Packers won 31–25,...
- Green was also an offseason member of the Miami Dolphins, Minnesota Vikings, and Washington Redskins, and spent time on the Texans active roster in 2002 without appearing in a game. -> recommend adding this to the end of the first sentence of the second paragraph, which could read Green played in the NFL for five teams: the Baltimore Ravens, the New Orleans Saints, the Seattle Seahawks, the New York Jets, and the Green Bay Packers, while also being. He was also an offseason member of the Miami Dolphins, Minnesota Vikings, and Washington Redskins, and spent time on the Texans active roster in 2002.
- After all these changes, consider making the lead just one paragraph.
Revised the lead. ~WikiOriginal-9~ (talk) 17:42, 5 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Early life

You need a comma after January 12, 1979.
You have 6 straight sentences that start with "He" and then a verb. I would recommend the second sentence start with "Green" instead of "He" and then maybe rewrite some sentences to be different, like He earned Class 3A all-state honors as an offensive lineman his junior year in 1996 and also recorded 72 tackles and eight sacks, earning an all-district mention on defense. could start with As an offensive lineman his junior year in 1996, he.... Try to change at least one, if not two.
- Revised some. ~WikiOriginal-9~ (talk) 17:46, 5 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

College career

2001, and was a two-year letterman. comma isn't needed
Again, a lot of "He" sentences. Maybe He played in 10 games, starting eight, during the 2000 regular season, He played in the 2000 Peach Bowl as well. could be During the 2000 regular season, he played in 10 games, starting 8, while also playing in the 2000 Peach Bowl
- Note in this sentence, that since "10" is written as a number, the "eight" needs to be "8".
I would append He majored in general studies at LSU. to He transferred to play for the LSU Tigers from 2000 to 2001, and was a two-year letterman. like saying ...2001, where he majored in general studies and was a two-year letterman.
Revised. ~WikiOriginal-9~ (talk) 17:56, 5 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Professional career

General comment, similar to above, a lot of repetition with "He..." sentences.
I would recommend some sub-sections. Maybe even just "2002-2006" and "2007 to 2011"
Revised. ~WikiOriginal-9~ (talk) 17:56, 5 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
- I copyedited this section, fyi. See edits here. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 22:46, 5 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Personal life

No comments

References

Refs 7 and 12 appears to be the only one to use "work", but other souces could use this (jsonline is technically published by Milwaukee Journal Sentinel)
You are inconsistent in how you capitalize and list website (Pro-Football-Reference.com, Pro-Football-Reference, jsonline.com, NationalFootballPost.com, etc). Choose one way (like always have ".com" and whether or not to capitalize key letters in the url)
All other reference formatting looks good and consistent
Ref spot check: all references checked reflect what is being sourced. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 22:58, 5 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Refs updated. ~WikiOriginal-9~ (talk) 23:20, 5 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

General

Any reporting on him formally retiring? Let me know if you need me to look in Newspapers.com (if you don't have access). « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 22:46, 5 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
- That's all I got WikiOriginal-9. Nice work! « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 22:59, 5 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
I haven't found anything on Google yet. If you could find something on Newspapers.com, that would be great! I've been waiting on the re-approval email for over a month I think. I left a comment at WT:NEWSPAPERS and emailed Newspapers.com customer service but no one said anything. ~WikiOriginal-9~ (talk) 23:02, 5 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Try just signing in straight through on Newspapers.com. I never got a formal approval notification but suddenly I had access again, and thta access was straight through Newspapers.com (and not through the Wikimedia Library). I'll take a look. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 23:17, 5 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I took a quick look and couldn't find any reporting. Just basically that he didn't get signed. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 23:24, 5 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Okay, thanks. ~WikiOriginal-9~ (talk) 23:25, 5 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.