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Template:Did you know nominations/Minoo Mohraz

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The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 12:30, 7 September 2018 (UTC)

Minoo Mohraz

[edit]

Created by Droodkin (talk). Self-nominated at 19:28, 13 July 2018 (UTC).

Interesting, on good sources, offline sources accepted AGF, no copyvio obvious. In the hooks (and I prefer ALT1), can you show that it the physician is female, perhaps by using a pronoun? - Suggestions for the article:
  • Use physician, not doctor, consistently.
  • Make the sentence about saying "condome" active voice. - It's not clear that she said it.
  • Add a bit ;) - The rather long lead is a duplication of information, and without it, it would be too short. - Anything about her as a person? --Gerda Arendt (talk) 09:26, 14 July 2018 (UTC)
  • Hello, thank you for your feedback! I've adjusted the article, fixed the doctor and condom issues, and mildly expanded the article. I've also placed two new hooks for consideration. I am personally okay with either hooks. Droodkin (talk) 17:26, 14 July 2018 (UTC)
Thank you, - I go for ALT2 because ALT3 suggests a bit that it's only her campaigning, not her qualification ;) --Gerda Arendt (talk) 20:13, 14 July 2018 (UTC)
  • ALT2 isn't accurate as it conflates two different facts, (a) that she was described as Iran's leading expert on HIV, and (b) that her pragmatic approach led to her becoming "one of the most visible faces of HIV and AIDS campaigns", to quote the source. They are not the same thing. A better and more accurate hook ought to be found than the current proposed alternatives IMO. Gatoclass (talk) 09:48, 15 July 2018 (UTC)
Thank you very much for bringing this up, this is a lil embarassing. I have adjusted accordingly and written up ALT4. I'd rather ALT4 be accepted hook. Droodkin (talk) 12:32, 15 July 2018 (UTC)
ALT4, but if a word smith can get in that she is a woman, even better, - for a Persian name, we don't know that. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 13:06, 15 July 2018 (UTC)
Hello, I've tried my best and written up ALT5. If it still is not good enough, I am in favour of ALT4 being passed despite the lack of she pronouns. Thank you! Droodkin (talk) 14:02, 21 July 2018 (UTC)
Thank you for trying, but I think ALT4 is more elegant, striking ALT5. - For the next nomination: please don't change hooks substantially above an approval tick, place ALTs below, because they need a different approval. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 14:45, 21 July 2018 (UTC)
  • Hi, I came by to promote this, but the main source for her running a clinic and being considered the foremost medical expert on AIDS is eleven years old. She is 72 years old. Do you have any updated information on her? Yoninah (talk) 23:09, 31 July 2018 (UTC)
  • I don't have any more news sources, however I think ALT4 is still accurate since grammatically it covers statements made in the past.Droodkin (talk) 18:32, 2 August 2018 (UTC)
  • @Droodkin: but you would have to qualify it:
  • ALT4a: ... that in 2007, Minoo Mohraz was described as Iran's foremost medical expert on HIV/AIDS?
  • I agree with Gerda that it would be better to mention that she's female. Yoninah (talk) 21:14, 2 August 2018 (UTC)
  • This nomination has been languishing for a month without any reply from the nominator, who has apparently edited only once in the past month. Marketing for closure as unsuccessful. Yoninah (talk) 22:36, 3 September 2018 (UTC)
  • @Gerda Arendt: As you commented on this discussion and were sympathetic to the article content, would you be willing to make the necessary changes? It would be a shame for the article not to pass its DYK due to a relatively minor issue. Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 10:58, 4 September 2018 (UTC)
A shame yes, - I have very little time. To my understanding, all that was missing was to word something about being female in the hook, no? --Gerda Arendt (talk) 11:14, 4 September 2018 (UTC)
As far as I can tell, yes. That and that the qualifier has to be mentioned in the article body. Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 11:32, 4 September 2018 (UTC)
  • Suggestion:

ALT4b: ... that in 2007, female Iranian physician Minoo Mohraz was described as Iran's foremost medical expert on HIV/AIDS?Jmar67 (talk) 12:34, 4 September 2018 (UTC)

I have attempted to resolve the reference problem in the article. Please check. Jmar67 (talk) 13:32, 4 September 2018 (UTC)
@Droodkin: Please review this discussion and the changes to the article. Thanks. Jmar67 (talk) 17:38, 4 September 2018 (UTC)
Hello, sorry I've been quite busy lately and only just seen this. I am in favour of either hooks for this DYK but if the consensus is to emphasise the doctor's gender, then ALT4b is the best hook we can offer. The article changes are also quite reasonable, thank you for your kind effort! Droodkin (talk) 14:58, 5 September 2018 (UTC)
  • Thank you for your work, @Jmar67:. But I can just hear the people at WP:ERRORS asking, "Why is this hooky? Surely in the past 11 years, someone else has become Iran's foremost medical expert on AIDS?" I advocate trying something that's hooky even though it's dated, like:
  • ALT6: ... that in 2001, physician Minoo Mohraz spoke about HIV/AIDS on Iranian national television on condition that she would not be censored—and used the word "condom" even though it was banned in the media? Yoninah (talk) 21:01, 5 September 2018 (UTC)
Thank you. I just stepped in here as a copy editor to try to move the process along. I like ALT6. Jmar67 (talk) 21:17, 5 September 2018 (UTC)
  • In an effort to get this nomination moving, I will restore the tick, approving ALT6, based on Gerda's original review. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 05:32, 7 September 2018 (UTC)