User talk:Justus1455
| This user is a student editor in Oregon_State_University/HST_310_The_Historian's_Craft_(Winter_2020) . |
Welcome![edit]
Hello, Justus1455, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with Wiki Education; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 19:59, 12 February 2020 (UTC)
Prof. Smith comments on first draft of Wikipedia article[edit]
Hi Justus,
I think you have a lot of good material for your first draft of the article, and the makings of an excellent final article. Here is what I would like to see you work on for the final version.
1) I think the lead is too detailed. The lead should really be a broad, general statement that tells the reader about the topic in a brief fashion. I would go with something like: The 1866 Tennessee State Convention of Colored People was the second statewide meeting of African Americans to discuss civil rights during Reconstruction. Then, I would save all the detail about contracts, voting, etc. and move that info down into the "Origins" of the meeting.
2) I would like to see you develop and revise the section titled "Convention Contents." First, I would change the title to something like "Convention Outcomes" or "Convention debates (or issues)." Then, I would add more detail here about the key issues that the convention discussed. The successful protests for the right to vote are a really big deal. I would place more emphasis on this and explain the other significant outcomes of the meeting. Remember that your reader is going to be most interested in the big picture importance and significance of the convention. Adding more material about what the convention accomplished will beef up the content more and do a better job establishing the notability of this event for appearing on Wikipedia.
3)Finally, were African American women involved in the convention at all? Our partner website, the Colored Conventions Project, really wants us to add material on women whenever possible. Please check your minutes again on this point and include information on women if possible.StaceySmithOSU (talk) 16:19, 15 March 2020 (UTC)
Tasker feedback for peer review[edit]
"How could your peer improve the lead" You could break up the first sentence into multiple sentences. It is a bit of a run on sentence. "Is the overall article structure clear" Yes, the overall article structure is pretty clear. No changes appear necessary. "Is there balanced coverage of the topic? Is the tone neutral" Yes the tone is neutral, there appears to be no bias or uneven coverage. "Are the sources reliable" Yes it appears that all of the sources are reliable. Most of the sources are government sites or reputable journal entries. "What proofreading or writing suggestions do you have to improve the article?" I'd say just give the grammar a quick look over, besides that the article seems pretty good. "What other things would you add or fix in the article?" I would just expand on the Convention Contents, it seems a bit short. Other than that it seems pretty good. — Preceding unsigned comment added by StaceySmithOSU (talk • contribs) 16:26, 16 March 2020 (UTC)